What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is a narcissist grandmother like, with her grandchild?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How do Flat Earthers explain time zones?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are some cute stories with your crush?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do Muslims not get HIV/AIDS in spite of having 4 wives and multiple relationships?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

TEXT:

Have you ever had a secret crush on anyone?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Riddle: How do budget cuts, DEI hires, and empty reservoirs, turn the bluest, most Democrat city Red?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Will my 9 year old face more difficulties than most girls her age if she’s an early bloomer? My daughter already needs regular B cup bras. The doctor says that my daughter will be even more developed by 11-12 years of age.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.